Not a Babysitter - Why Parents Should Play Games with their Kids - Extra Credits

This is a topic we've considered doing for a while, but we held off on it because, well, none of us are parents. What right does that give us to weigh in? But after some of the meetings James has been taking as part of his Games for Good campaign, it's become clear that this is something we should go into anyway. There's been a lot of discussion about having the government take over the video game rating system, about helping parents keep bad games out of the hands of kids, and of protecting families from dangerous games. Now, besides the fact that this is one totally impractical, after all, does the government really want to spend dollars rating every iPhone game? Two, unnecessary, because most stores already won't sell M-rated games to unaccompanied minors as it is. And three, inherently flawed. Ask any GameStop employee and they'll tell you about the parent who came in and bought something horrific for their kid despite numerous warnings from the staff about the game's rating and content. And besides all that, it's missing a much larger and more important point. Games aren't babysitters. Any medium, be it TV

or movies, even books, can be harmful if you just leave them to take care of your kid for hours on end. It doesn't matter if there's a rating system or if the government regulates them. The fault isn't entirely on the media. Games are meant to be played with your kids. There is an immense amount a child can get out of games if they have a parent who's willing to simply be there with them, share their hobby, and talk to them about what they love. The parent doesn't even have to play. James recently talked to a man who could talk Civilization strategy with his son over dinner most nights. And this got them talking about history, sociology, political theory, even military tactics. The man didn't even play the game, but he was willing to be there with his son when he could and talk to him about the things his son cared about. Not dismissing something that was meaningful to the kid as just a game. And again, recently, James heard the story of a teacher who plays GTA 4 with his three-year-old. No, hang on. They don't go mugging people or sticking up citizens. Instead, he drives around the world obeying the traffic laws and asks his son to call out when he sees cars of a certain color. It's his way of teaching his son colors. And now, even some of the makes of the cars. So, we can't throw out any game as simply an inherently bad for kids. A lot of the way a game, TV show, or any media

affects a child is dependent on guidance they're given and the context they watch it in. So, how can a parent engage with their kid and make game playing a positive experience? Well, first, it depends if the parent plays games or not. If they do, it can be a bonding experience, much like playing football together in the backyard. It just requires a lot of patience, the willingness to sit there without playing and give help when the child needs it. Coaching, encouraging, and talking about the ins and outs of the game. Taking the controller only when the child is stuck and asking for help. Otherwise, patiently, positively supporting them while they very frustratingly jump in the same pit 20 times. Beyond that, it's just a matter of working through the positive things in the game. Every game asks questions, every game has something to explore. If you're playing Modern Warfare, that easily turns into a conversation about the conflicts going on today. You're playing GTA? Well, that could be turned into a discussion about the problems in modern society, talked out through a discussion of the characters in the game. Or heck, it can be a talk about cars or an awesome conversation about classic rock and how you went and saw those bands that are playing on the GTA radio stations rock out live back in your day. The conversation doesn't have to be heavy, it just has to be good. It just has to

help a child draw out all the elements of the game that are right there under the surface, but aren't connected to their non-game life in the play. If, on the other hand, you aren't the parent who grew up with games, that doesn't mean you can't include yourself in that part of your child's life. Again, the key here is patience. There are lots of parts of many games that are only engaging to the player, so you're going to have to take a deep breath and just let them grind through it, even if you don't totally understand what they're doing. And not understanding is totally okay. You've got to be very careful not to be pestering, not to interrupt their flow when asking questions. Of course, asking questions is good. It gives them a chance to practice communicating about something they're highly knowledgeable about and love, but just choose your moments. You know how obnoxious it is to watch your favorite TV show next to somebody who makes you pause it every 2 minutes to explain what's going on. It's even more irritating when you're trying to play a game, so converse with care. Beyond that, it's going to take a little bit of investment from you. You might have to read up a little on the game your child is playing. Get to know the basics from videos on the internet so you can follow along. Maybe even read things or watch things in parallel. Has your kid been playing a World War II game? Maybe you could suggest watching Band of Brothers together. I'm assuming

your kid is like 15 or something in that example. Please don't go showing that to your 7-year-old. But perhaps one of the most effective things you can do is research. And more than that, teach your kid to research. I don't care if it's Pokémon or League of Legends or World of Warcraft. Having somebody sitting next to you on their tablet or laptop looking up things for you while you're playing is awesome. You can be the one chasing things down on GameFAQs or digging through spreadsheets for them. This makes you a positive part of their gaming experience and even more, it allows you an opportunity to teach them and talk to them about research habits, which is perhaps one of the most important skills in our internet-based modern world, a world that requires data processing rather than data retention. You can talk about how to find information, how to categorize it, how to work with it and reference it, all in the context of something that is awesome, something your child loves. How cool would it be if your dad said, "Hey, come sit with me. We're going to figure out the evolution for Weavile." Or "Come on, let's check out the crafting recipe for a forge wire axe." The key here is simply to not let gaming be a solitary activity, an activity that keeps the child and the parent apart, but rather to have it be something you can share, even if you aren't actually both playing. All the rating systems in the

world and all the regulation isn't going to make gaming any better for parents who feel like gaming is something they can't be a part of, much less for those who just drop their kids off in front of the screen. You don't have to be good with a controller or fast with a keyboard and a mouse to make this positive and to help your child get the most out of their time with the game. Thanks for watching. We'll see you next week.