Are You A Fake? (The Imposter Syndrome In The Game Industry)

[Music] don't watch it don't watch it I don't have anything good to say like do you ever feel that way Tim like that's the that's the nature of the indie game industry you know it's like you always feel like you don't know what the hell you're doing oh my god you do I get so pissed off when I get emails like well Tim yeah you would know this cuz cuz you're a successful indie game developer and you do you I'm like what I have no clue what I don't even know a video I'm gonna post tomorrow or like what well you also you also but but your videos this is what makes you special is your videos you you project such confidence and I think that potentially keep your site potential indie game developers have to learn this and I'm actually reading a book it's called the next generation leader I just finished it up and it's a it's basically about how even though a leader might feel like they don't know what the hell they're doing

they have to project that they do yeah if they want people to follow them and so I have to especially true in like teams and stuff like I noticed if I have working with contractors or something if I give any hint that I don't know what I'm doing oh yes or two question you they start to change stuff like yeah so like there's this mentality that knotch kind of at least made it mainstream he was the impostor syndrome you know and and basically I don't I don't actually like talking about it and I think that it's kind of BS but I mean everyone at some point is gonna feel like a fraud right and and so my thought process is I'm not gonna let myself feel that way I'm going to I'm gonna be the hardest to do that you got it you got to give you the secret on that well I was I had unity unity flew out and did a documentary of my studio I live in South Carolina which is you know forced whatever three or four states and I can't member health for how far I love we're somewhat close to States what is I should notice here an ocean yeah we

share an ocean but they forgot to South Carolina from San Francisco and one of the videographers who flew in he's this really successful videographer guy who his name was Ben Proudfoot and we had a really strong heart-to-heart he filmed me and he just said you know how do you feel are you insecure and this was before like I even finished pinstripe and so much insecurities came out of my mouth in the interview like an hour after the unit he just kept filming filming filming filming and it got to the point where I it was like us it was almost like a self-indulgent sob fest about indie game development and after he shut off his camera he'd like he basically talked to me and said you've got to learn to be confident who you are if you want to be successful and my message to indie game developers is to stop posting and no offense to anyone who's listening this because I do it I've done it too but stop posting memes about how unsuccessful you are and how

little money you make like it's time it's time for indie game developers to be not confident that they're gonna make a lot of money but confident that they're doing what they love and happy about it because you and I are so lucky that we get to do what we we do you know well what you say lucky but there's a lot of hard work behind the scenes too there is but here's the one piece of luck though is that you and I were born in America right I mean that yes sir yes that yes and that we're in this time period right cuz no like the indie game developer is such a new thing and we're so lucky that we we're born in this generation I guess but I know what you're saying it's like a combo it's it's rough too because like I totally get that like I'm a straight white male I'm white I'm 62 I my biggest problem is not where what I'm gonna eat or where I'm gonna sleep it's like I don't feel like working on a videogame so yeah like in that regard yes totally like I am so blessed in like so extremely fortunate to be in the position I'm in yeah but at

the same time like I feel like we are I mean I can't say globally because I knows a lot of areas in places that that need a lot of help but I think as some of the developing nations or the developed nations kind of we move toward this place where robots are taking over these these jobs that don't require real Gill's and and and everything is really becoming about thought in art and you know like I think that stuff becomes more prevalent and I think like what you were saying about my youtube channel like I found a little niche I think because I talked about like so many issues that I struggled that I literally thought I was the only one yeah and yes I did feel stupid and I did feel like those weren't valid problems because of you know like Who I am and like the things that I've done and like if I know like I read something in the other day where if you got like a roof over your head and you have food to eat you're you're richer than like 50% of the world or something that yeah it's crazy well you know and that's uh I'm just

learning that it's not really about the and this is this is a result of my last podcast I had I had a podcast with Zheng wah I think it's name he's my publisher and I should know how to say his name but it's Zheng Qi yang but we call him Z we call him Z and he's the owner of serenity Forge and he had three hours to live he was on his deathbed and so he knows I guess what it means to be lucky and so I was complaining about the industry and how there needs to be like huge barrier barriers of entry like you need to pay a thousand bucks to get your game on Steam and he said basically you know hold on Thomas like there are people in the world who are really good at making games but they cannot afford that and I was thinking like any American 1/4 can afford that because just going you know use your credit card but you forget that people like especially on these indie game groups like on Facebook and stuff like a lot of them are people from you know the Middle East you know places that maybe you

can't you can't fully afford that kind of stuff but I hear what you're saying like it's such a great time to be alive and and the fact that you and I worry about you know how what what we're gonna make for our project or the stresses the stresses of indie game development is like that's like so cool that that's the only thing we're worried about you know and I like I see that from from two different perspectives like one I totally agree with you there are some people that are less fortunate does and they can't afford any of the stuff that we do like they're worried about where they're gonna sleep tonight by the same time like I have this belief in me because like I grew up super poor like my parents would fight about money all the time right we were living in hut apartments like we're living in ghetto ass areas Wow we i what i did when i like built a company is like i it took so much like willpower and force yeah

that i didn't even feel like I had to just like and I wouldn't even see make it but just like survive especially in like Los Angeles where like rent it was like super high and like it took just so much like work and effort that I feel like a lot of people when they complain about stuff really what they're saying is they they wish it was easier they wish that you have to put in the work yeah I hear you