Designing Game Communities for Kindness

[Music] [Applause] hello everyone thank you so much for attending my talk designing communities for kindness this is a talk i've been wanting to do for ages and i'm really excited to finally be presenting it i wish i was in person but obviously i'm still happy that we are here online uh so yeah let's just let's get into it i'm really excited really nervous so let's go okay um so the world can feel like a very lonely place um i've been lucky enough to always have people i could talk to every day people who cared about me and lived in places where i could meet more people i definitely wasn't short on any opportunities to connect with people but i definitely felt short on connection a number of times it's hard to escape this feeling of feeling very separate or isolated or depressed honestly but all the times

i've been able to get through them have been by finding communities and making the active but difficult effort to reach out and sometimes it's been the active effort of others that have saved me so i really wanted to talk about kindness online some communities are physical obviously and some are online and if we consider how we use and structure these online spaces to be healthy and consider how we make deep connections that could be a really powerful thing maybe kindness isn't talked about anymore because we've become so used to it and it's become so ubiquitous in online spaces we take it for granted or we become jaded by the very platforms we found solace in and i mean for really good reason too but it's really easy to be jaded and do nothing about it and it's harder to be jaded and do something so this talk focuses not on multiplayer in-game chats but on the places that players gather outside of the games on places like discord forums or twitter and here's the thing for a lot of us online spaces have become our communities the places where we socialize uh learn

the norms of the place and find our belongingness essentially this can be thought of as something similar to the role of like a church or something large families once played so even if we don't want to we need to start asking ourselves what kind of communities are we building and the reason i find this so important is because hi i'm victoria i'm the communications director at kickbox games which is a small indie studio in montreal canada we develop and publish a bunch of games maybe some of which you've heard of also my twitter at the v-tram feel free to follow and tweet at me as this presentation goes on but basically no matter what game we make or publish or develop what's important to me is that no matter what game it is that it's a welcoming and kind space for any player joining there are layers to help people act of course but i'm speaking from a more macro sociological basis so before we get into design we need to talk basics which is how you can set any sort of tone for your community at all devs tend to know they want a community

but neglect concerning what kind of belongingness they want from them and then those who consider it might decide they want fluffy concepts like positive or healthy or engaged or nice or any number of words that you've probably heard before and that's a really great goal but it doesn't concretely describe what actions to take so how do you get there that's where community developers come in community developers grow and build up and direct the fan base in the direction we want it to move towards you may think that say a violent fps game will only attract violent aggressive people but that's wrong for sure some of the nicest people can be found here and the ultimate final tone is dependent on the structure of the space that you set out so if you want to start thinking like a community developer and how you can start to set tone here are five mental qualities as a community dev to keep in mind and don't worry we get into the nitty-gritty of the actual structural part in just a bit so first is ambition do you plan for and demand the best of your platform and community

you know you need to have a goal you need to have an actual community idea in mind second is decisiveness it will involve some work from you from moderators and a willingness to ban which is a really uncomfortable situation and i won't lie about that third is clarity so i'm going to mention this a lot during the talk but we cannot devalue the importance of soft skills soft skills are important and the ability to articulate yourself in this and of course collaboration you're not a lone wolf are you working with your team and your community to actually build these spaces and finally energy so do you bring the positivity to the community and lead by example and once you've set your goals and purpose as a community dev you'll be able to that you'll be able to better set the tone for the community that you want and for our purposes we'll be talking about how to design communities for kindness but of course if we talk about kindness we do need to define it and one of the most important things that i consider when i talk about kindness is that it is

a verb it is not a noun it requires practice it can requires continued effort and continual acts so kind community design doesn't mean chanting positive affirmations into your community every day though you can do it if you want to i'm not going to stop you and whatever floats your boat but what it really means is creating a safe low pressure helpful and encouraging interactive space among the players who in turn want to help each other superficial notions of kindness won't suffice here when we are kind it doesn't mean we're giving people a pass for bad behavior responding with we just need to be kind to one another when someone does something like calling another person a slur brushes over real complexities of life so kindness means we need to hold people accountable think of the realities of the world and set up our spaces to be both warm and progressive and with that we get into a few caveats to kindness design so just really quickly one these things will not automatically make your space kinder or safer this takes time and continue effort

two this isn't some mass strategy dreamed up to get user attention and hit kpis kindness is based on being genuine and while this will help you in the long term in the short term it is a frightening and maybe uncomfortable situation to be in sometimes and as with anything there are a lot of variables that you'll have to think of depending on team size game size and community size our community strategies may only have been as successful as they are because we're relatively small giant mega communities with million unit selling games probably need additional strategies essentially i want people to be mindful of how they love and interact with their games and not just what they love so let's talk about design communities for what i consider to be kindness so these are the basic steps towards kindness design which i'll extrapolate on further the first base step is to create rules which are social systems that shape and influence behavior rules that aren't as helpful as you think you they are are things like don't be a dick or just be nice be

respectful etc these aren't really that productive or actually informative and often result in people disputing the rules meaning when they break it also honestly don't be a dick is like the bare minimum people should be online so to build better rules we need to understand what a social system is social systems are the relationships between the individuals groups and institutions so they can predict and shape how your behavior is influenced by the certain group that someone is a part of for example the way you behave and interact at work might be very different from how you interact at home the same goes for whether you're in a hospital a library a school a museum etc these systems have their own set of rules that allows the group and institution as a whole to function smoothly breaking the rules causes chaos or resistance and game communities are exactly the same in the book the forest and the trees by allen g johnson he uses the board game monopoly as an example so monopoly is a mini social system with

rules following these rules offer the path of least resistance to the playing the game but following them also impacts player behavior if you've played monopoly before you know the whole goal is to control the board and winning involves making sure your opponents lose all their money and property that is players are let down one path greed it's a rule set that not only encourages greed and all the attributes that come with that but makes it a necessary part of the experience the point isn't about if the game is fun or not but that the rules encourage this behavior for participation regardless of your own personal values and if you refuse to abide by them like by cheating the other players will probably get angry at you or they'll kick you out and you won't be a part of the game anymore so when we talk about social systems here it's important to consider what you as a person privileged to be setting the rules do with this so as johnson notes notice that we can describe the game without saying anything about the personalities intentions attitudes or other characteristics of

the people who might be playing it the game in other words has an existence that we can describe all by itself it exists whether or not anyone is playing it the same is true of social systems so what outcomes are you looking for with your rule set what is the path of least resistance in monopoly it's greed and for kickbox it's kindness so now that we understand what a social system is we can kind of get into the nitty-gritty of how you create rules so people will have different ideas of the rules and how they should be implemented but at the very least according to the world justice project and my own studies in sociology these are the universal universal principles for the rule of law so first is that they're clearly defined so don't mention words don't try to make it some complicated thing make it very easy to understand two they're publicized so they're very easy to find and see not hidden anywhere three they're stable so they don't change very frequently they're not you don't take anyone by surprise by a sudden change in rules

four they're just so they seem reasonably fair for what they are and what the space is and five which is very important which i have not seen too many people adhere to sometimes is that they are applied evenly and quickly to everyone everyone in the space no matter how much of a participant they are in it etc so keep those in mind when you create rules so for example these are the kitfox discord rules don't worry about reading them all they're all on our discord but i just wanted to point out that as part of the rules i actually have a general framing element for the tone i expect from those joining and this is kind of part of setting the tone for the entire space so often while i do when i know we have a big announcement coming up meaning our discord will be flooded with new people is warn the community that the sensor bot will be hypersensitive to more words this helps drive the tone of what i expect from new people entering and once the initial boom is over i go back to relaxing the rules and when rules are broken often what helps is a message their way with an

explanation or a warning before any action is taken rather than an outright callout for everyone to see shame and embarrassment in public is usually more effective for making the person feel defensive rather than receptive to change give people a chance to improve and learn and if someone's coming out of anger talk to them see if you can help them vent in a healthy productive way and lead them to understand the tone of the community if they still don't understand maybe the community isn't for them membership is a conditional privilege that you can remove at any time and you get to set the tone and if it's a troll or someone you know just there to cause chaos it's okay to ban them there's a time and place for everything and you can't work with anyone coming in with that intention so be decisive and of course there does actually need to be someone enforcing the rules for this to work you can't just have it sit there and do nothing don't fear rule enforcement it helps drive productive conversation and weeds out those that are under there under false pretenses basically just nip toxic members in the bud don't keep toxic members around

because they talk and contribute to a space and you're afraid of silence they actually take up more space and drive away more genuinely interested members and every forum needs rules to maintain its purpose and functionality there are going to be times when you can't monitor social you're at a convention vacation busy et cetera a good community shouldn't collapse because you're not around the better your rules the better your community can sustain itself so the next step in community design is creating a baseline of respect of you as a person in the community they need to understand that you are obviously a living breathing person with emotions and boundaries if your community can't respect your boundaries they probably won't respect each other's so this is the first step that moves people from only seeing like nameless faceless rules into seeing you as a person and that's very important so let's talk about examples on steps on how to create this first it's my favorite is to be offline be offline when you need to be

uh nine to five pm whatever your work hours are when i pop in secretly to places like our discord to check nothing is on fire even if someone needs me i try not to respond until the morning this way they respect my time the discord gets used to it etc um i encourage others to be accountable of to each other and me being critical of your actions is okay you're allowed to make mistakes people are allowed to disagree you're human but there are certain ways to garner criticism that are more respectful than others and telling them you are receptive to it but if only if it's framed constructively is a really good starting point those that hurl or abuses are going to be blocked probably or ignored rather than listen to and people will quickly understand that plus how you act among those that disagree or argue with you matters just because someone might say or do something stupid doesn't mean that it's okay to mock members of the community or those that leave it your community is keeping an eye on what you say if you start going to start talking behind someone's backs if they leave your community even if you think it'd be really funny

it doesn't actually reflect very well on you respect you need to separate people from their behaviors address what they're doing and not who they actually are and if you do get through to them you can give people a golden bridge this basically means not holding something against someone allow people who might have voiced something undesirable to be able to exit or change their mind gracefully with no shame so for example maybe you've managed to calm someone down after they come into your discord angry that a game is delayed a golden bridge allows them to stay in your community should they so choose or to leave without a sense of bitterness against the studio instead of saying something like i told you so or making a really striking comment towards them to humiliate them further you can say something like we all make mistakes or something as simple as no worries or it's all good works too basically just don't be petty be someone that they can look up to but respect isn't just about addressing negative emotions some of the most difficult things in community development are not the angry trolls it's the members who you know have your best interests at heart but cross some

sort of personal boundary or seek a therapy-like relationship with you that you're really not equipped to handle these are hard to call out and my tips for you here are really difficult but because you can't give vague generalized advice for this i will say that above all it's important to let them know that you do care about their well-being and because of that professional help is a better resource than you are and honestly it probably definitely is better than you unless you're a trained therapist in which case great job so soon they will see that you're doing your best when you have time with them and not that you're neglecting or ignoring their needs just like how a community may expect you to act a certain way you must also set expectations for them so once respect is established we move on to norms which is a further dive into the acceptable ways of communication within the community as a whole so there are two kinds of norms mores which are norms that carry great importance like laws chat rules etc

don't murder whatever and folkways which are norms about casual daily interaction mores we understand really well rules should not be broken folkways distinguish what we think is rude or polite and often in korean development that's overlooked but can plant the seed of unkindness when broken that's why as a community dev you have to mentally distinguish what you think is acceptable ways for your community to talk to you and each other rules are easily defined politeness is not for example a folkway we have in north america is that you shouldn't stare at people when you're in an elevator it's not illegal to stare at them it's just pretty rude and kind of weird and for online communities a joke in one game community might not fly in another so while you can't necessarily make rules on politeness you can influence it also be aware how your tone may come across to a stranger or someone who has just joined your community for example even proper capitalization and punctuation can actually make you sound quite strict in a very casual chatting environment

you'll become the de facto leader for setting the folkways even if you don't feel like you are so keep in mind how you interact and the jokes you make because this will automatically be seen as the acceptable ways to communicate with each other the more your community understands the norms of discourse the better they interact with each other so a lot of people think it's things like an anonymity that creates trolls or what i will very scientifically call jerks but it's not just that after all anonymous acts of kindness also exist i argue it's when you have a person plus anonymity plus an audience that tolerates that behavior that kind of creates this jerk so what norms does is when you have people come in with anonymity known social norms and a community that isn't receptive to their unkindness then you'll get a normal person a regular person or at least someone who understands that this community isn't for them or the way they are interacting with us isn't seen as acceptable all right so then we move on to one of the hardest things to create

which is trust i don't think i'm a perfect community developer far from it but what matters is that your community trusts that you're doing your best with the resources that you have so you have to understand that if you're in a public facing position the community is literally relying on you they have no other way of getting a sense of the studio usually unless it's through you and it's a really difficult line to straddle being understanding of both the developer side and the community side which is why you need to be able to have your players trust you and what you do so in order to create trust there are four core tenants you need to do your best to adhere to and that's integrity action intimacy and openness integrity can be any number of things things like emitting mistakes sometimes acting against your own interests or financial gain for example saying a game isn't right for someone or offering a refund um keeping promises and especially being honest when you don't want to be for example people are being hyped about something that isn't actually coming to the game second is action and this is the process

of doing something that lasts through some time and importantly consists of more than one act like i've said before kindness is a verb not a noun it's something that has to continue happening trust isn't just lip service you need to do things for them or at least try being reliable trusting them with information interacting with them etc there's also openness you're going to need to give a bit in order to receive showing compassion and sharing your thoughts and not in this difficult way being a closed off person even though you may have those days which is fine too and when asking for feedback be open and understanding instead of defensive and then there's intimacy so the less of a stranger you are the more you interact with people the more exposed they are to you um creating shared experiences and finding common ground which should be easier since they're there for your game and builds a report and the more rapport you build the more trust of course this is partly dependent on your own studio acting responsibly some things are out of your control but these are things for you to keep in mind

and also this will take time you cannot rush this this is a continuous circle of events that need to happen constantly the more consistent the better so for example i've asked for feedback from our community and this isn't some surface level way to placate them i don't ask for feedback unless i generally think i can do something with that so they do appreciate and they do notice when they see you doing something they don't always voice it but there have been times where it has been voiced and it has been very nice there are so many ways you can show you're sincere but again keep in mind this isn't some sort of mind trick you have to be sincere and the trust will build slowly over time and you can also have fun with them that is an important part of trust be more than just information givers warning issuers or lofty out of reach people every positive interaction you have with your community builds this report and i'm not going to lie it's going to take a lot of time again but it is definitely worth it all right so the last one uh which is home and say it with me soft skills are valuable they are so

valuable especially online when you're missing most of the non-verbal cues that give context to how a person is feeling your soft skills are imperative to creating a warm relaxing space home if you will so one way communication is a little bit more difficult to do this with but in places where you can interact more with people like forums and discord there is more flexibility and opportunities to create this feeling but there's greater difficulty in keeping it consistent since it depends on the members interacting within it just like mass conventions or crowds it can be a really overwhelming place so i think a lot of people equate the ability to communicate as being equal to actual connections with others which is false connection is when people feel heard seen and valued and can derive strength from their relationship so we need to design for these moments so cozier more selective rooms allow for further similarity and goal and orientation between members encourages repeated interactions and manages the density of the community from feeling too overwhelming and creates that true connection

so kitfox discord for example has pronoun roles cozy channels like cute and good and food and noms and private little servers and little secrets that you can discover as ways of joy and these comm these channels don't have any immediate value related to kid fox however they do bring a sense of humanity to the space and a place of refuge when channels are more chatty and you may find other ways to foster a kinder space uh in your places this is by no means the only way to create home-like feelings maybe you'll have a fun theme to your discord maybe you'll have a meta game that people can participate in maybe you'll literally make it all about being wholesome whatever you want as you solidify your community pillars and uphold your community to standards you set the better their reputation becomes we've had people join kickbox purely because people had heard it was a positive place to be in and most newcomers see how people interact see the reputation and naturally go along with this it's a very beneficial and pleasant circle of events so designing community kinder

communities and moderation is not just about risk management its lifetime value will reward you people want to interact and will stick around for your future games to come and long term there's less work on your end of course at its very core regardless of the spaces we create kit fox and any other studio exist to sell products games t-shirts limited box sets whatever but while we're at it we might as well do our best to make the places we touch a little bit more positive the user experience in games is important but combined with a warm friendly user experience in the community that's good design kindness to me is like a candle so some kindness will create a small glow in people and it'll be really nice some kindness doesn't light anyone's candle at all that's okay too but maybe it'll set someone's candle on fire and create a huge ray of light within them there are different intensities and who knows will spread maybe it'll light other candles and create warm glows of kindness and other

people who really need it and i know this has an impact i know this affects people i know this because there have been times where i've been saved by a small gesture or a little message from someone online this talk was based partially on my own experiences as a confused and anxious person many a time but it's also rooted in the now where i'm very blessed to have a job that allows me to interact with a community that i love very very much they've shown me time and time again that kindness is capable even when we are all a little unsure worried or down especially in 2020 and that's okay to turn to a stranger and talk about something silly and nonsensical and be accepted for that every time we choose kindness we make the world around us just a little bit kinder and braver we don't need to just survive as an industry we want to thrive it's not impossible to combine technology and creativity with compassion and ethics for me meaning flows from connection from being a part of communities that

are bigger than me but nevertheless value and include me in them so if we can create kinder spaces online people can form real connections they couldn't have otherwise and i hope that connection helps them face the real world too and if you thought this whole talk especially the end was dumb and cheesy then i hope some kindness hits you so hard that your jaw breaks from smiling too much thanks for listening to my talk [Music] [Applause] decided to add it in at the last minute but the misconception is this is all too fluffy oh it burns because we'll talk about concepts like cohesion and how important it is and people will come back with things like it's too fluffy decades of science begs to differ we are not making this stuff up we're just trying to figure out how best we can apply it to games but all right let's bring it on home for those of us that are working in fair

play and in player dynamics we want to increase investment and there are five strategies that we've been using that i've seen to be effective that we saw effective in ux design and hopefully will save you a lot of time and effort champion by doing just get in a way just get in there find a way to do the work gauge the maturity level of your company which means figure out the right strategy for where they're at to help them move up that ladder find a process work it hone it with others so that you can have a reliable way to organize towards these goals and understand what you're doing get that data so you know if you're affecting change we've proposed a framework for both this and the process that we hope will help and prepare for the misconceptions because they're going to happen that comes with the territory did with ux design and will again for player dynamics and our work in fair play thank you very much