You Can Take an Arrow to the Knee and Still Be an Adventurer

[Music] so things would come in it's the end of the day so I really appreciate it and last off by getting one ruble I actually thought this room would be empty so I'm very pleased to see so many of you here okay a quick background I am a cherry and I'm an accessibility expert I've collaborated with teams of many different disciplines on everything from workshops to accessibility reports conclusions without narrative and writing team's past work includes giants like Ubisoft Xbox and Microsoft Studios all the way through mid-size triple-a like gorillas and Indies like Gambrinus oh yeah in the words of Ben Schroeder I also practice ultraviolence but for feelings so get ready my disabilities affect my memory and speech and are an excellent excuse to break the rules so I also read my presentations content warning I will be discussing difficult

things related to disability death stigma and mental health if you need to leave at any time please do I have a lot to cover so I'm afraid it's unlikely there will be time for questions but please remember if you have any to catch me afterwards if there's enough of us will remove we'll move to a wrap-up room otherwise I'm happy to answer you on Twitter so always feel free to get at me so representation excuse me I'm already breaking up it's a loaded subject I'll set the scene with some words from Emily grace Burke who is a wonderful narrative designer that you should all follow on Twitter you can't do narrative design in a social cultural or political vacuum you're providing players tools to live a story their story is informed by the real world if you're not considering what your players all of them might want to do and how they might feel at every moment as they experience the stories in your game you're not doing narrative design thinking it intersectionally isn't a plus it's immersed as the pace

picks up with accessibility and more disabled people are playing our games than ever before it's perhaps time to have a frank discussion on inclusion I'm pretty sure this is the first ever talk at GDC on decibel to representation so no pressure according to Twitter people really like my title I gave version 1.0 of this talk at the game's accessibility conference in Paris last year and got a similar response but it's more than just a clever nod to a very famous game and embodies what I truly feel needs to change about how we view disability working in games so often means pouring our heart and lives into them and it can be hard to hear criticism so I want to reassure you that it's not personal I really don't think games that get representation wrong are bad games I truly appreciate every one of you I just think that the mistakes we make are often down to gaps and knowledge and experience but oh I went ahead we do that sometimes I'm not a monolithic

voice for all disabled people well I've done my best to bring in perspectives from the larger community at the end of the day I'm just one person I always struggle with how to give 30-minute lectures without an hour-long intro on disability culture and today is no exception because bad representation derives from social stigma well here's my story in a nutshell until my late 20s I didn't consider myself disabled then I took an arrow to the knee which is not true at all I wish my story was that cool I lived with a lot of undiagnosed physical and cognitive disabilities which meant difficult times and unique stigmas a31 I had a sudden stroke when an artery supplying my brain tore I wasn't even doing anything cool like pumping iron or crash in a sports car I was slowly walking back from my coffee break at the beach it turned out my physical disabilities I did degenerative and at this point I found myself in and out of hospital trying to rediscover who I was I learned a lot about how negatively I

viewed disability I found vocabulary and culture and figured out why had always struggled so much it was a revelation my being forced to acknowledge it I could finally see myself and my disabilities positively it's what you make of your situation that defines you Lara Croft and shadow of the Tomb Raider a common phrase we hear is that we shouldn't let our disabilities define us but of horse my disabilities define me I don't just let them I work hard to make them a positive part of me they're an inescapable part of who I am I experience the world through my disabilities every day all the things like chronic pain I'm proud to be defined of what I make of my situation I want to celebrate it if Laura gets that why can't everyone else all right myths and stereotypes surprise I use a wheelchair how do you ask them to move a table so I can make that joke people wrongly assume all wheelchair users have total paralysis but there are so many

other reasons for using one for me it's a multi-faceted due to my muscles pain and frequent injuries lots of us can stand up or even walk a little bit with the help of crutches canes or walkers it's not a miracle or someone faking yes I have had people yell this at me including in a hospital of all places here's a list to inspire you when you're thinking of including wheelchair users in your games this might not be exhaustive but it are they are common reasons to use a wheelchair muscular weakness amputation severe fatigue bone or muscle film malformations chronic pain bone and soft tissue fragility a risk of injury or Falls motor control and movement disorders and even more the type of wheelchair we use depends on our disabilities and the cost but somehow the most common wheelchair we see in games are ugly heavy things have rarely been used outside of hospitals airports and other temporary situations for more than 30 years cloning wheelchair assets

looks pretty silly too I've never met anyone with the exact same wheelchair as mine and I'd love to see more power chairs here's a hot tip if you're googling for manual wheelchair reference use the term everyday wheelchair not just wheelchair as you see the results are quite different more ideally work directly with people who use them so you can learn more about how they work another myth autistic stereotypes nonverbal kids savants or men who lack empathy to the point of hurtfulness or violence the biggest issue with autistic characters is we rarely written as fully developed pee for the most famous and thirty-year-old example rain man's defining traits uneven autism like most people think it's something called savant syndrome we have personalities where as human as anyone else even if we move or communicate differently most stereotypes breaking of all my empathy can be so intense it overwhelms me but I don't process emotions or sensory information very well I do actually like the trains

but I'm also incredibly enthusiastic about birds and can sort of talk to cats when that's only half a joke the fictional characters who I think are most autistic aren't usually written as such Futaba from persona 5 was extremely autistic but she was described as a shut-in similarly Hilda the Netflix cartoon has many qualities as a young autistic girl but it's likely accidental which doesn't really count because it doesn't foster the wonderful sense of acceptance inclusion and being seen that can be so powerful with deliberate inclusion 1/4 sorry reflecting worldwide population statistics recent studies are showing 1/4 to 30% of players identify as disabled that's a big chunk of the market and gamers games are massively important to the lives of disabled people time is too tight to go into too much detail on how but on a personal level video games saved my life I said this

during a design sprint with the studio who make Gears of War I meant it half jokingly but as always I didn't realize how deeply I meant this and so I met the eyes of one of the developers and he quietly and vulnerably said me too regardless of who we are this can be our most profound common ground it's one of the things that makes us so passionate in our work games have helped me through so many difficult times all through my life but maybe nothing greater than through pain and degenerative disability so if a quarter of players are disabled why less than one percent of our game characters whether it's hiring practices community efforts creator platforms of representation disability is often forgotten from larger diversity efforts even if it's not intentional by not explicitly including you're excluding us it both matches how often and how we're represented in games maybe for no greater reason than how it

feels the lack of representation or even worse bad representation can reinforce stigma everything from ideas that disability should be hidden it makes us worthless evil untrustworthy a burden or even whether we should want to die more on that in a moment it can cause rifts and friendships when we talk about it or it can acutely affect our enjoyment of a game it can incite and underpin onslaught of hatred and toxicity when gamers use slurs like to shut us up negative representation can impact our mental health and self-esteem on every front to put it simply it alienates us conversely the feeling of seeing even a glimpse of who you are in a positive light is profound it's a nudge that you're not alone and more importantly you're welcome a little indie called to the moon was one of these moments for me when I started playing I had no idea that it was relevant to me so when it captured so much of what it's like to be autistic I cried and I don't mean I got teary and

could hold it together I mean I openly sogged breathless wordless and completely broken of course this was live on the internet for everyone to see it was an absolute mess I'm not kidding but this segment goes on for 20 minutes it unlocked feelings I had no idea were so intense that when I finally saw even a shadow of myself how powerful that would be the way one of the autistic characters experienced the world and the barriers she faced were so familiar through a deeply affectionate lens the story told of how hard she fought had autonomy desires and opinions she wasn't a burden and she had a profoundly meaningful relationship the delicacy and beauty were unparalleled inclusion is so powerful I deeply adore games because they had great experiences in conduits no matter the scope or genre as storytellers and well builders you have the capacity to move hearts and souls like no other industry I

No hashtag disability representation matters I ask people on Twitter how being represented makes them feel and the responses I got were overwhelmingly about belonging and visibility and particularly like Jamie Knight's response if I exist in the game world it helps me to persist in the real world helps me see a space event or community I can be a part of rather than feeling like a permanent outsider at the end of the day that's what it comes down to for disabled people we already feel like outsiders games transcend that disabled people are still often segregated whether we're stuck at home or when sitting in less desirable sections on transit music venues sports arenas or cinemas away from our friends sometimes we can't even access basic facilities like toilets too many bars restaurants clubs cafes shops parks and more still aren't accessible even if we can get into buildings things like table height or limited space exclude us regardless

of the poor state of representation with less segregated in games we feel less alone and undesirable take this tweet for example sorry this will make me very emotional daughter is autistic she doesn't fit in she doesn't get praise outside of her close family during the first Posse commissioned her favorite character told her to keepers would be proud of her she cried Thank You Bungie you have no idea how much this means from andraste blaze so what about escapism I know people who don't want to be reminded of their disabilities they just want to feel stronger more powerful and in less pain sometimes it's just about having fun I understand this I'm in pain constantly and I'm weaker than a six-year-old I spend hundreds of hours in horizon zero dawn losing arrows with the ridiculous accuracy and strength sneaking around in the grass like my knees aren't made of glass I don't want

to replace this facet of gaming I believe that enjoying escapism or power fantasy doesn't mean that disability should be unraised entirely as it so often is this quietly reinforces the idea that disability is wrong the ultimate goal for Humanity is that we don't exist something we have to come to terms with as disabled people is that cures are extremely unlikely especially given the vastness of disease and the complexity of some disabilities I mean we can't even cure the common cold or flu some don't want a cure for example I believe that to try and cure me of being autistic would have raised me as a person I also love my wheels but happily take a cure for my failing digestive system or never-ending pain it's more complicated than you might think Mad Max fury road was proof that disability and power fantasy can coexist furiosa was wicked powerful not despite her need for a prosthetic but because of it it was so empowering to see her on the big screen even Mad Max himself has

worn a leg brace since the very beginning of the franchise that's me grin braces trying to invoke my inner robe always we have plenty of escapism so there's really loads of room for improving representation when we do see disability in games it's mostly extremely negative so let's rip off this bandage here's what I call the trilogy of tropes we all know the squeaking of a wheel the empty wheelchair rolling into a creepy hallway disability is often used to frighten people the stigma is so pervasive it took me two years of being progressively house bound to work through it mentally disability can sometimes be scary to the person going through it but it shouldn't be horrifying to other people it's similar to the difference between laughing at someone and with someone the empty wheelchair is probably one of the most used pieces of a creepy environmental storytelling after humans goals is definitely the most common way to encounter a wheelchair in games and

Fallout 4 I saw the same bulky on a futuristic wheelchair about 563 times throughout the entire world now blood-borne has empty wheelchairs and wheelchair using enemies on one hand it's cool to think that these enemies are fully capable once I saw one of them miraculously descend a flight of stairs without tipping over all while shooting me to quote the quote on this slide I feel so emotionally ravaged by this game and not in a good way was not about the notorious difficulty while I loved playing the game the awful way wheelchairs were used crushed me to top it all the story ends with the players character being trapped into the wheelchair implying that it's a terrible cycle of fate doomed to be repeated forever apparently being disabled is the ultimate horror in a world that's nothing but nightmares that killed you 194 times yes I counted it's left a

wound that's prodded every time someone tells me how much they loved the story despite the common narrative that we're trapped in our wheelchairs bound to them against our will for many of us they give us freedom I adore my wheelchair I've never felt as free and bloody cool as I do zooming around five times faster than I've been able to move in two decades and with a fraction of the pain it's a beautiful piece of engineering too and it's not at all creepy this is where I'd pop a wheelie but it probably isn't the safest thing to do on stage our bodies mind all the devices we use shouldn't be used as a threat to make players feel scared I'm tired of the same old depictions of disability and mental health that reinforce the negative ways others see me and it doesn't come down to one game it's like drops in an ocean when disability is often seen as worse than death maybe it's natural to assume we want to die disabled people face death for many

reasons from terminal disease to serious accidents or like me I live with the risk that my body can break down without warning I've cheated death several times humans are survivors because life is so worthwhile even with disability or pain why is it so easy to imagine non-disabled characters doing anything necessary to survive horrifying apocalypse when it comes to disabled characters in mundane settings they probably want to die and life is strange Chloe becomes profoundly disabled due to a car accident the player as Max is presented with that dilemma of helping her by killing her or forcing her to keep living a life with no friends and nothing to do but stare at blank walls while in a lot of pain perhaps a more important story to explore would have been about quality of life why and how is the world failing Chloe that she's been left with this as her only wish why is it seen as a moral gray area whether her best friend

murders her or not the difficulty is there's a dash of truce but for me the ethics of the way behind the way it's presented are all wrong if friends have been in accidents like Chloe and until they learn to adapt and achieve the quality of life they deserved they did struggle with suicide but it's a mental health and social issue it's not the fundamental state of being disabled it's heartbreaking we're passing up truly interesting narratives and favorite overtly negative cliches that Center stigma and fear if only these stories would examine why we all have these fears as able-bodied people like unlike the systems that fail us and end up with disabled characters being supported and finding new purpose Detroit become humans disabled character Carl has a supercool wheelchair which is actually something I've always wanted to see in games but at the same time it was totally inappropriate for him given his apparent inability to self repel and

reliance on being carted around by an Android no one I know enjoys or prefers to be pushed around by other people so it made little sense additionally since the motion capture was an able-bodied actor in a crappy wheelchair I have seen the pictures he were also moved really weirdly there were so many glaring errors I took bets on which bad cliche he was going to be the bitter angry rich guy or the kind of a pitiable one it was the latter his character is largely a burden and two-dimensional it was rooted in pity and by focusing on how incapable he is it broadcasts how compassionate his Android camera must be and therefore rouses empathy for the Android spoiler of course he dies which is the catalyst for the androids full sentience these stories or characters really aren't about our inclusion they're plot devices for motivating players into having bad feelings by exploiting stigma fear or

imagined ideas of what it's like to be disabled it might not be intentional but it is self reinforcing ultimately when this is how you used to seeing characters like you it's sad and exhausting this is where hell-blade sin or sacrifice was surprisingly different it felt so much less exploitative I spent a long time analyzing why a game that focused on psychosis thought mature and respectful ninja theory didn't just work with doctors who diagnose and treat psychosis they worked with people who have lived experience of it actively working to correct assumptions after all they're the real experts in psychosis in other avenues of diversity we understand the importance of having marginalized people tell their own stories if not as part of the team directly then via consultation and sensitivity checks we should be speaking to disabled people how web was a piece of art as evidenced by the awards it won but it was more than that I don't live with psychosis

myself but it spoke to me greatly I've lived with anxiety I have PTSD and have episodes of dissociation and most importantly I've often felt an outsider as seonhwa is for me they manage to transcend the tropes I associate with the thriller genre cinema was powerful tender loving the world was hard and cruel to her she wasn't terrible she wasn't pitiable she's a survivor who feels grief loved and most importantly hope it was empowering the game never looked down on her so no I also had a sight that meant she could solve puzzles and see hidden meanings as an autistic person this resonated as I'm very good at quickly seeing patterns often though this kind of magical ability frustrates disabled people several deaf and blind people shared with me that this is their least favorite trope the savant such as in perception and the quiet man this is written in a variety of ways unusually poorly for example echolocation for

sightless character is ironically often shown visually to players these cliches only reinforce misconceptions people have about deaf and blind people as well as projecting the fact that these characters are broken and can only be capable with magical abilities I think how they dodge this because it wasn't replacing anything and it wasn't fundamental to her existence it was just like any other skill in an adventure game like God of War or spider-man again it was empowering I highly recommend watching the talk given at GDC last year by the team spoiler they came to the great revelation that psychosis is just one of many ways to experience reality ie we're all human and disability is just normal human variation more than anything I'd love to see for disabled representation to be more casual you really don't have to write about the disabilities I see people beside themselves on social media whenever a character happens to be disabled in games like overwatch because it's that rare this is angel Jeffrey

ëcause playing as machree she's a one-handed actress that has a real bionic arm hashtag representation matters I really enjoyed shadow of the Tomb Raider and I was shocked and excited when not one but three NPCs were blind and disfigured for all but one there was no discussion of their disabilities it was just who they were and they were good people and they didn't die back to my visit with the Gears of War team there was discussion of representation and how that might look in a game with very physically fit characters now I don't know for sure that it was my input so I can't really take credit but in the reveal trailer for Gears 5 we see one of the main characters JD Phoenix stop for a moment wince in pain and activate a futuristic prosthetic major chronic pain representation just like that the best place to start from is to realize that

there are more subtle ways to show a character might have a disability main characters or not side characters bit characters hell we need to see be seeing more disabled people in crowded street scenes since that were just better reflect real so start small braces one look characters wrists elbows shoulders or knees an indication that they have chronic pain young characters with canes crutches or wheelchairs just make sure they're not antiquated or inappropriate make deaf or blind characters that aren't old people or savants how about a character that communicates with a smartphone stop given that disfigurements limps or limb differences to the evil characters an important note as with any other character disabled people are as diverse as all of humanity were not just white men we need to see more disabled people of color women lgbtq+ characters someone could be all of these I have multiple disabilities and bisexual non-binary and

an adventurer at this point you might be thinking screw it I'm going to make a game about cats because cats are easy well hold it right there because this is my one-eyed boy Odin and he's here to tell you that you don't get off that easy ah the missing eye so what's this about villains evil characters are almost always crazy disfigured or disabled even when its player choice to be evil as a mass effect or fable you become disfigured and scarred dare sex was right before exploring disability and what transhumanism might mean for us but like most cyberpunk narratives no disabled people are accessible streets that are be seen anywhere I live with implants that make me an actual cyborg there's a lot of people creating these futuristic worlds without exploring the kind of devices disabled people live with here and now I use wheels I get nutrition by IV and have a port that goes directly to my stomach they're not a choice they keep me alive and autonomous they have potentially

life-threatening malfunctions I love the character design and Deus Ex look at that that's absolutely what I want my disability representation to look like it's one of my absolute favorite I piece but Hugh Darrow is the villain in Deus Ex Human Revolution he's genetically incompatible with the technology he invented augmentations and unable to cure his own disabilities he became hell-bent on mented people it came so close genetic and compatibility is quite realistic I frequently think about the fact that if I were to need prosthetics they wouldn't be an option for me because I'm too fragile but why does that lead to Darrow becoming bitter hateful and instrumental in augmenting people's persecution this is bigotry and disability doesn't make us bigger of course he also dies Spiderman on the ps4 was another recent example dr. Otto Octavius became evil in part because of his disabilities even though he had altruistic origins the

only real depictions of disability in the game were through the lens of devastating disease and cure now I don't want to make the claim that disabled people can't ever be bad but - far too often disability is only a signpost or catalyst for evilness if we saw disability applied more positively in the world building these games would have come off much better perhaps we haven't earned the right to make this to make the bad guys an enemy is disabled and to a more deliberate inclusion and here's a shocking idea maybe have even more than one diss example of disability in order to mitigate cliches when you only have a single representation in a fictional world they'll by design be a stereotype and since as I say a quarter of the world is disabled it just also makes more sense now overcooked is a fun series one of the playable characters a raccoon is a wheelchair user I love it so much we don't know why he uses a wheelchair and we don't really need to of course this requires making the levels accessible

but that should be happening more anyway there's nothing weirder than playing a game and noting the city I'm walking around in doesn't have a single disabled person a dropped curb or that there's stairs everywhere where did we all go now night in the woods was a cult favorite this is partly because the whimsical story and characters really had a lot to identify with it had excellent lgbtq+ representation and surprisingly good mentions of sleep issues mental health and movements like flapping there was no physical disability but many of us appreciate the affectionate nods of to mental health and neurodiversity so hammerlock in Borderlands 2 was probably one of my favorite disabled NPCs he had robotic well half his body was robotic he was so funny and as wholesome as it gets in the borderland universe half his quests were ridiculous escapades of revenge on the creatures that took his body parts Mass Effect is a difficult one to celebrate because it had one of the most horrific depictions of an autistic character that I have may have ever seen

he was tortured but it also had one of the best physically disabled characters Joker was the Normandie star pilot it's a shame he wasn't a main party character but he was extremely capable and damn hilarious his disability was brittle bone disease which incidentally is assists the diseased mine and so I saw a lot of myself in the Joker he made fun of his own disabilities and the Panda cruise awkwardness about it in a very endearing and realistic way the crew highly respected Joker and Shepard even risked her life to save him yes sorry Shepard will always be a woman to me I had two folks shot back because I could only find one with male shep in it so finally most was the first character that used sign language in a game since I'm not deaf here's what Susan who recently passed away had to say on Twitter CN wasps use ASL brought me to tears seeing the language I've used my entire life finally be put in a game as

a mechanic and not a plot device for some victim it was just incredible so I'm really not saying never explore disability as a main story arc because if done without assumptions and the right lens it can be pretty powerful otherwise we're still at a point that even when it's not overwhelmingly negative stories about disabled people aren't exactly positive now the wheelchair in the surge as a total surprise as you take hold of the controls I was so excited that I actually squealed out loud it's been an hour wheeling around where there was no game content because I knew the inevitable was likely coming the wheelchair wouldn't last the inevitable cure takes the form of an exosuit which is a common plot device with along with magical medicine much like Deus Ex quite a man the assumption seems to be that all disability must be cured and that technology will be the answer the end of the game is again contempt and fear of the wheelchair with it being used with horror to taunt the player I

have really convicting feelings about the surge because I love the game in the end I'll always fondly remember wheeling around an empty boring train station enjoying somewhat accurate wheel chair physics for the first time ever although they did forget the cushion in the seat let's just move toward telling disabled stories and more positive and respectful ways with less sad stereotypes ok let's do a quick summary with some takeaways please do include disability in your characters crowds and worlds include disability and diversity efforts portrayed disability positively make disabled characters diverse include disability in and mental health and consult disabled people but please don't make assumptions exploit disability as a tool for negative emotions raise disability entirely and please don't make it the villains disabled TV Tropes

is an excellent resource to acquaint yourself with common mistakes on representation across the board I meant to put the link in there it's remembered I did not I did I did TV Tropes dog a footnote language is hard and especially since there are cultural differences between countries and even among individuals for example do we say disabled person or person with disability I prefer disabled person as do most of my friends so the short of it is it's not rude to ask so please don't be afraid to in fact questions are so much more appreciated than use and terrible euphemisms like differently-abled final footnote as an accessibility expert I have to ask if you go into feature stories about disabled characters please do your best to make the games physically and cognitively accessible to the those players themselves so it's dangerous to go alone take us if you involve disabled people in your process as early as possible you'll be less likely to fall into the common traps

whether actively hiring more disabled people on your team or bringing in consultants ultimately we're the experts of what it's like to live with disability assumptions are naturally informed by stigma and imagined ideas of living with any aspect of the human condition can never be accurate because it's really quite different when you live it every day adapting surviving and thriving grab my details but I also encourage you to look for more perspectives I could put you in touch with my community or utilize your own please also value people's time and expertise appropriately I truly believe that positive disability representation can begin to heal trauma and stigma and it doesn't need to be an explicit message at the moment we often just don't exist on a fundamental level in games a less direct approach can reach greater audiences then we take a giant hammer with change written on it and huge letters games are just so powerful because they penetrate people's lives no matter the genre platform or how serious

they are I adore this industry to my very core I admire and appreciate all of you that work so hard to make games inclusive I fully recognize that in order to get better we need to make mistakes as always I hope haven't been too unkind and I'm leaving you with some practical ideas and a spark of inspiration for moving forward the magic of representation happens when all our various disciplines work together and it's just part of our culture remember one quarter of the world are disabled including people of all genders races cultures sexualities backgrounds and games are profoundly important in so many disabled people's lives and finally please don't forget I took an arrow to the knee and I'm still an adventurer [Applause]