I Lost Motivation for Game Dev

hey guys this is going to be a very casual video hence the sweater and the coffee it's gonna be a casual video where we just talk with one another about demotivation as it relates to you feeling like a failure okay now I can say that confidently and not feel like I'm being mean because really I'm talking to myself okay how do you stay motivated and finish your game how do you finish your games multiple games I hope that you can finish multiple games how do you do that and stay motivated despite feeling like a failure and by the way it's inevitable we're going to talk about that so I was born maybe some of you were late let me know in the comments below and also leave a like And subscribe if you like indie game videos like this I was born with this mentality that is well I'm constantly self-defeating um I always sort of yell at myself internally

um this is just who I've been since I can remember I was born this way just constantly yelling at myself and being negative towards myself um and this has led to a lot of mental problems and weird stuff that you probably know about just if you're that way you know how it feels and this year has been particularly bad I I don't know why it's just been a weird year uh 2022 I told my wife 2022 sucks um and that's just because my brain my brain has been a little bit weird this year despite having success it it still is a problem um and and you know you can have it's this isn't like wild success like I'm not like a billionaire but like we've I've made game called pinstripe also made a game called neversong and we're working on our third game I have a successful online school I have a successful YouTube channel I have a great life despite all of that there's

still this demotivated sense of failure right how do you get past that well I want to give you the tricks that I use and the first one is to recognize that every game developer out there feels this way and this shouldn't be surprising to any of us but every game developer out there no matter how successful they are is going to feel demotivated they're going to feel burnt out they're going to feel like they're not the right person for the job that they suck that their project sucks that the mountain is too hard to climb right hopefully this is obvious to you this is not obvious to you then congratulations you've just well received one of the greatest Gifts of your life and that is recognizing that everybody on Earth feels demotivated and feels like they can't handle the mountain ahead of them every entrepreneur in the world has felt demotivated and every entrepreneur in the world has failed and will talk about

failure in just a second okay so even me right I feel this way all the time I feel this way yesterday I feel this way today and I will feel this way tomorrow it's sort of a constant that you're going to have to work through okay feeling demotivated feeling like a failure so one of the things that I do is I actually look for the smaller winds okay this was especially true when I started making games and this should be true for you as well you should be looking for small wins so what are some examples of small wins releasing a asset pack even if it's free an asset pack on the unity asset store so that's like beautiful Sprites 2D Sprites that you've made or 3D models all of these are small little wins and again they could be free another example is release a game on hio right um a small crappy game on hio and you will get bad reviews and we'll talk about that in a second you will get bad

reviews for these small little things that you release early on in your career now if you're just starting out and you still have nothing to show for it that's that's totally fine that's normal you should still be releasing little animated gifs or images or videos or maybe even devlogs just explaining honestly like I'm doing here how you're doing and what you're working on the reason we're doing this Okay the reason we're releasing small little pieces of content is what I'm calling little wins and they're not wins in the sense that everybody loves what you do excuse me they're wins because you're you're sort of priming the pump and reminding yourself of what your goal is your goal is to release something right your goal is to release content okay to release video games that's the end goal here right you want to make video games

you want to release something to the world you want to put this on a store shelf well a digital store shelf right steam Xbox PlayStation GOG well if you do it slowly starting out just slowly release content you're reminding yourself who you are you're a producer of content right you're producing content and I even get this way with YouTube okay if I don't if I don't release a video for you guys in like two or three weeks I start to sort of settle into this mindset almost a Hermit mindset of like they don't want to see me anyway they don't want to hear me talk I'm annoying they don't want to hear from me right I'm this way with friends I'm this way with my family it's terrible that's just the way I was born let me know if you feel this way so what I have to do just like it is with friendships you got to text friends and say hey do you want to hang out right even if you feel like they don't want to hang out with you you text them

and say hey do you want to hang out right the same is true with releasing content for your games release animated gifs release what you're working on release devlogs small little wins to remind yourself that you can do this that you're brave enough and then ultimately my final Point here is it builds up a callus it builds up a callus and that callus is well it's strength it's the strength to say you know what I'm going to put myself out there even if I'm not confident and when you do it with small stuff it's not as scary okay because I can assure you releasing a game on Nintendo switch is a lot scarier than releasing an animated gif on Twitter okay or Tick Tock or whatever now this leads me to my next point which is okay Thomas what if I'm releasing these small little pieces of content and they're not wins they're failures okay well we could still call them small wins and this by the way this is not some karmic woo-woo I'm not saying it's like

some spiritual thing your failures are still wins because failure I've written it down here on my computer failure is an indication that you're doing something right okay if you're not failing I think that's a red flag okay so if you're never receiving criticism and you're not really receiving negativity it's probably because you're releasing mediocre lukewarm content or you're not even releasing content at all you're not doing it enough okay you need to put yourself out there so often that you're receiving failure okay failure is the only way you grow right I can't think of a better way to grow than failure and when I think of the top game developers and the top entrepreneurs digital entrepreneurs these are people who know how to fail in fact they're gifting is failing big and failing

publicly right Steve Jobs is a great example right gets kicked out of his own company Apple starts his own company after that what is it next and then he goes and buys back Apple failing publicly and failing big if you know how to do that you're Invincible you can do whatever you want okay I need you to learn how to fail often and this is me again talking to myself Thomas I need you to learn how to fail big and fail often that's actually one of my goals um this is one of my prayers even I'm constantly asking for failure because I don't want to be scared like my my goal is at the end of my life I say man I just really wasn't scared of anything because at the end of the day who cares if someone leaves a negative comment at the end of the day who cares if certain people don't like what you did or what you made that's that's normal

that's life that's that's a good thing so remind yourself when you're feeling insecure and demotivated and you want to quit remind yourself if I don't fail at this then I probably did something wrong okay now that does bring me to my next point which is are you actually failing big like I want you to fail big I do I want you to have a spectacular set of failures in your in your career as a game developer I would be so happy if you would just fail big I'm I would and I'm talking to myself here Thomas I want you to fail big that's good it doesn't mean you've done something immoral or wrong and you get in trouble I'm just saying release stuff that the world doesn't like that's great fail big but the question is okay are you actually failing big because most of you think that you've failed big and you when you get a negative comment or your game crashes or you get a bunch of

errors in the console window on Unity oh you can't figure out how to code or you can't figure out how to do art and every time you try to make something look beautiful it sucks or every time you try and write a beautiful song for your game it sucks or your game just isn't fun right a lot of you see that as big failures when in reality you're probably and again I'm talking to myself here so no offense you're probably being dramatic okay most of these things that you think are failure are just they're just normal Road bumps they're not even failures you didn't even fall down so I'm going to ask you to just redefine failure failure it needs to be big and it needs to be painful all this stuff that sort of keeps you awake at night negative comments or just the struggle a lot of you are just in the grind the grind is I don't understand Unity I I don't understand how to code I don't understand how to how to model in 3D or

my artwork sucks it's these small little things and to you they're they're huge but they're not actually that big it's kind of funny when you're willing to pay and and spend the time to go to class like at a university that grind feels different it's like it's much more methodical and we're willing to accept that it's difficult but the moment we say okay I'm gonna do something on my own I'm going to learn how to make games on my own and you're alone on your computer and you feel like the whole world is a way like nobody's with you you're just completely alone in your office or your bedroom learning suddenly the Panic sets in and you feel like Oh I'm a failure I don't know what I'm doing right I don't know why that is right why is it that when we're in a university or a school environment we're willing to accept the challenge right most of us are and even when we get a c on an exam or a

d or an F we're still willing to keep going I guess because we have to right but when it's our own Ventures suddenly we're we're not willing to accept that failure and we think that it's an atomic bomb of failure when it's not even failure it's just a small Road bump okay so try and think of learning Game Dev almost as a requirement like I'm going to get this game done almost like I'm going to finish high school I have to Mom and Dad will be pissed right or I have to finish college because I paid for it right with Game Dev just say I've got to do this I set out to do this I'm going to give myself two three more years and I'm not gonna cry again I'm talking to myself no offense I'm not gonna cry every time there's a challenge it's not too hard because I have to do

this all right so reconsider what failure is failure here's a great example of what true failure is failure is spending two years on a game investing money into a game and it doesn't recoup the time and the money that you invested recoup is like you know most you know this but it's like a fancy word of like you making the money back right that's a failure okay failure is releasing a game and it gets a 60 on Metacritic that's that's failure I think I think you could consider that failure that is the kind of failure I want you to pursue okay I want you to pursue the big failures don't be afraid of them I pursue I mean move after the target I don't want you to make a bad game I want you to be moving towards the target of failure and being okay with it aka William William Wallace running into battle knowing that he might die that's what I want you to do okay

now I want you to consider the pain of completely abandoning your dream when you're too afraid okay so when you're running into battle when you're saying I'm gonna make this game I'm gonna learn how to make indie games as you're pursuing that I want you to consider okay what's more painful running into the failure or just abandoning the dream all together I need you to consider okay which one is more painful quite often the pain of abandoning a dream is more subtle it's a dull ache but the egg lasts for 10 years right regret regret that you didn't try something regret that you didn't follow through when you had the energy let's say when you're in your 20s and you knew you had the energy to learn how to make games over the course of three years you didn't instead you went to parties or you hung out at the bar every night or you watched

Netflix shows okay when you could have focused your energy when you were young to learn how to do something awesome like make games which is honestly the greatest job ever [Music] regret when you're 40 years old do you want that do you want that subtle ache for 10 years or do you want the sharp pointed pain of failure over the course of three or four years and I can assure you that I felt those sharp daggers of failure every quarter for the last 15 years bang bang bang bang but personally I'd rather have a sharp jab of failure for one hour every quarter for the last 15 years rather than a dull ache while I'm in my 40s okay so I need you to consider the pain of the two options following a dream or failing to follow a dream or failures along the way which one do you want to choose

and you got to think of that constantly this has this has to be a constant well function that's running in your head constantly the function is called um well motivation reset and you you need to call that function motivation reset anytime anytime you feel like you want to give up go bang okay and it Compares it's a conditional statement right or it's it's uh it's looking at two different variables and it's going which one is more painful abandoning the dream dull ache for 10 years maybe even 20 30 years of dull ache knowing you didn't try or sharp pains of failure for four or five years and then this this dream manifests okay this isn't hyper spiritual I'm just saying that if you work for four to five years really learning how to make games you're probably gonna get some kind of career in the industry I'm not saying you're going to be able to start your own full-time gig

some of you might go work for AAA companies or you might become at least you know software Engineers or something right it's because you you worked hard you did four five years of learning how to make games and you found a job right that's pretty sweet so I need you to consider the two failures now we've considered the two failures now let's put a nice bright Sunshine next to those two Dark Shadows okay the bright Sunshine is what's the prize at the end of this tunnel okay now it does feel like a tunnel doesn't it I think that's a good metaphor learning how to make something like a video game learning how to code learning how to use software like unity and Photoshop and blender it feels like a dark tunnel it could be lonely you can really just struggle to understand if this is even for you right it's a dark tunnel

it's lonely really is I'm still pretty lonely these days honestly but I don't mind it's okay um it's a dark tunnel right but at the end of that tunnel what's the reward right and by the way you know when I say I'm in a tunnel I guess I should say that's just my previous position I kind of like it here but there's a bright sunshine in my life obviously my kids and my family but when it comes to the reward the prize what am I talking about the reward and the prize what is the reward in prize what are you after what are you really looking for okay let me give you some examples of what you can receive at the end of the journey learning how to make games and make your own game well are you okay buddy come here come here sorry he's been itching his ear come here buddy you okay poor thing I think he has an ear infection

um what's the prize what's the reward at the end of the tunnel okay I'll give you some examples half a million dollars right a million dollars and I know a lot of you are thinking is it only monetary well no but the money's good if you make a great game yeah the money's good or even a mediocre game a mediocre game can bring in half a million right the reward is running your own company it's being Your Own Boss It's coming up with your own ideas it's satisfaction in your career knowing that you're making worlds right and putting something in here into the hands of players all across the world that's pretty cool right it's also just being able to have a creative job I I know this sounds really lame and this is probably not a good

thing but it's really exciting being able to tell people that I make video games for a living one of the perks of having a fun job is that you get to share it with other people right and there's Pride associated with it I'll admit but it's pretty cool just talking about your job letting people know hey this is what I do for a living that's a perk that's a light at the end of the tunnel right but I think ultimately the biggest light at the end of the tunnel for me is knowing that the ceiling is endless right um you're a pirate and this is the last point I want to talk about you're a pirate on Open Seas right and the booty is everywhere you look all around your ship and you know that there are islands all over the place of opportunity totally different than just a regular career right a regular career is sure there's a there's there's opportunity but I think with making games

um there's like for me there's like 20 islands and 20 islands of different games and also it's not just releasing games it's releasing online courses I have 3 500 students who who participate in my online programs as well teaching them how to make games um you need the asset store right contract work Dev logs that make money right there's a ton of monetary opportunities when you master digital production if you can Master software digital production the opportunities are endless okay so for me I've always imagined myself as kind of like a pirate um sailing the Open Seas just looking for opportunity looking for that buried treasure that to me is such a hopeful despite feeling like a failure and often losing motivation I'd rather just have have have have that feeling of sailing Open Seas as a pirate

looking for opportunity that to me that's what drives me it's really really exciting for me it's not for everybody like I'm not sitting here saying this is the greatest job for everybody because it's not right but for me and I think for a lot of you the sensation of well I'll put it this way knowing that you're in charge of your own at least monetary and career Destiny is pretty freaking awesome it's scary and it does cause anxiety but I honestly I prefer it but I do and I tell my wife this a lot I say I'd rather sink my own ship than be on someone else's safe ship I don't know why it's probably Pride but it's also I just like freedom so I would rather sink my ship as Jack Sparrow right

then to work for somebody else at least that's what I tell myself right that's that's what I keep telling myself in in moments like this and I say like this because I am in a moment of demotivation it's probably why I wanted to make this video that's what I remind myself of so I hope this was helpful guys I hope these points were very very helpful I appreciate you being willing to sit through this cozy fireside chat be sure to subscribe leave a like and leave a comment and I will talk to you guys later cheers